Just Want To Sleep…

Today… I am writing because I am bored out of my mind. I am staying at my grandparent’s to build a prototypeof a business idea I have. I am here till tuesday and running out of things to do. I have almost completed the skeleton of my idea, but have to wait on some parts in order to continue.

I have kept this idea stored in my mind for so long, I don’t want to stop. I am actually seeing it work out. I have pitched my business plan to a couple people and they all really liked it. I am getting a lot of support now and help to make it come to life.

I thought my business plan was one of those that you keep thinking about, but never get around to doing. Boy was I wrong. When I first started, I had no idea how I was gonna start. It’s like me and sketching…

It takes me so long to actually get started, that I eventually forget and never do it. I was challenged by a relative to follow through with my plan and to see what happens. So far, I am so excited to start getting it manufactured. It will probably take me a while before I can because I have to get some sort of patent.

I don’t know how long that takes… I’m really praying it goes quickly. I have thought about selling my idea to get the money up front, but decided to sell it myself. I have plans for the money that I will make from it. For a good cause, mind you.


Noble is still hard at work…

I have already taken my night meds about four hours ago, but they aren’t working
yet. Sometimes my mind is running so fast, that it overpowers the meds. Hate it when it happens, but it happens. That’s when I’m left staring blankly at a wall thinking about… Everything.

Tonight, though, I decided to put my mind to work and do some blogging. I apologize for the lack of posts. The past couple months, I have been in and out of hospitals for multiple reasons. Anyways, thought I might let you know I’m not dead… Good thing, too.


Job Interviews and Spring Cleaning

Yup… That is what I am doing today. I’ve got a couple job interviews and I’m doing a bit of spring cleaning. So, nothing fun. One of the interviews is going to be a ride along for a paper route. I’m really hoping to get that job so I can maybe do the route on my bike.

I have been bike 20 miles every day lately. I have been loving it. It’s  good distraction from life because it doesn’t cost anything to do. I don’t have to worry about gas, just if I am hydrating enough. The only thing is that I can’t find the leash attachment to my bike, so I can’t take Noble with me. I’m thinking that I could just make a leash that will work till I can afford another one.

Other than the interviews, bike riding, and cleaning, I haven’t been doing much. I am still recovering from my most recent overdose. It has nearly destroyed my kidneys and damaged my liver. So, I’m having weekly blood draws to check my liver and kidney functions. Yippee… My arms are all bruised up because of how many blood draws I’ve had…

Sick Day #2

Well… I called in sick today. I woke up at 11 last night with croup and as the night went on, I felt more and more like I was drowning. I haven’t had croup since I was seven or eight and it’s kind of scary. There is a cold going around and my dad and two siblings got it and were really congested. 

I only have a runny nose and a sore throat. Ha! I was like, “If this is the worst of it, I will be just fine!” Psych! Instead I just got the inability to breathe at all. Fun. It has cleared up an it after sitting outside in the rain for a bit and then taking a hot bath. If itflares up again though, I will have to go to the doctor.

Frankly, I want to avoid going to the doctor as best I can. I hate going to the doctor. But I dislike not being able to breathe even more. I also got Noble’s fence yesterday, but I wasn’t able to set it up cause it was raining. Now that I have some free time, I think I will set it up, despite it still raining. It’s metal so it doesn’t matter.

I also have my aunt and grandma arriving today. Yay… She said with sarcastic enthusiasm. I also decided not to wait till Saturday to get Noble. So, I will go pick him up at 5:30 pm tomorrow. YAY!! I’m so excited to finally get started. I’m tired of waiting.

Just… Ugh

Today has been a good enough day… nothing bad happened… I didn’t feel sick or anything, but I still just feel like… ugh.

I am excited about finally getting Noble this weekend. As the day gets closer, I am scrambling to get everything ready. But there isn’t anything to get ready because everything is done. All I’m waiting for is an outdoor kennel where I can just stick him out to enjoy the outdoors. We don’t have a fenced yard and I always felt bad about not being able to leave Keen outside.

Anyways, I am waiting for that to come and then I’ve gotta clean Keen’a kennel out. I am itching to start training. I have a completely clean slate and I can customize his task training on what I want. I don’t have to worry about the guidelines of a program or being afraid a certain task will cost more. I can do what ever I want and use whatever commands I please.

I’m just so ready to get going. It feels like it has been ages since I’ve had a dog. I have trouble remembering what Keen even looked like, but it’s only four more days till I get to start again. I just have to make it four more days. As tempting as it is to just let go and fall back into the pit, I won’t. I have to keep going.

Ugh… this really truly is just an ugh day. I hate these days. The days of grayscale. There’s nothing bad happening, but nothing good. No color… No black… just gray.


I got to see the puppies today and guess what? We get first pick in the boys! All the other people who had made reservations were neutral to what sex they wanted, but they decided on girls when they saw them for the first time. Boo yah! 

This big boy is exactly what I said… Big. The breeder is pretty sure that he is gonna the biggest one out of the litter and I want him. When he first let him out, he just leaned against my leg and chilled out, while the rest of his litter mates were running around wrestling with each other.

I picked him up, cuddled him and he fell asleep instantly. I think he’s the one. He’s got the same mellow demeanor that I’m looking for, but we’ll see. We only have two more weeks left, so I guess we will see how he matures. I keeping my fingers crossed this time.

I also took my ACT today. It went well enough. My migraine came back half way through because I was grinding my teeth during the test. I was trying to stay conscious. That is why my face is red in the photo above. Although, all the puppy breath relieved the pain temporarily. My dad and I LOVE the smell of puppy breath. I know it may sound strange, but I can’t help it. 

Doing What I Do

Well… I forgot that I’m taking my ACT tomorrow until I got my reminder. Now I am stressing. Then I found out that the same weekend I’m getting my puppy, Noble, some of my family is going to be staying with us for a big conference that we are all going to. Yeah… Now I’m really stressing.

It will be a change to get used to having a puppy in the house again and having to potty train and everything. I do not want there to be a chance that I won’t have an escape. I’m not sure how that first weekend is gonna go. I have a feeling that I will have a mental breakdown or two… And me crying myself to sleep at night.

I’m not looking forward to it. Really truly. I intend on going to this conference, but probably for only part of it. The conference is going to last from the 23rd to the 25th, and they last the whole day. They are cut into three sections during the day, so I will probably only have a chance to go to one. I don’t want to leave Noble in a kennel all day.

Although, he will mainly be in his kennel for the next month during potty training. He will also have a limited access to water… I am gonna have to “puppy proof” the house… Again. Oh but I cannot wait. The day could not come sooner. I need a dog. I do not do well without a dog. Whether it be a service dog or just a pet. I just have to have that relationship.

I have some last minute studying to do, so I should probably get to it. I will probably just be skimming through the bullet points on how to strategically work through the problems. Ugh… I love taking tests, but I do not like it when they sneak up on me… AT ALL.

My First Road Trip

Well… It’s Labor Day weekend and I’m gonna take my little sister with me on a roadtrip. This will be my first one on my own and in my truck. I am excited… But I’m mostly terrified. There are so many things that could go wrong. I have been having issues with my inertia switch and fuel pump relay to the point my truck won’t start. 

We replaced everything and I have one had one incident, but the fact that it is likely to happen is terrifying. I don’t want to be stranded at some gas station an hour from home. I don’t have to go, but my mom is right in saying that I need to go. For me. I need to know that I can. 

Since Keen has been gone, I find myself doing more things out of my comfort zone than when I had him. I guess Keen kind of prevented me from getting better because I was always afraid of what he might do. I am actually a smidgen more confident that I have been in years. I actually talk to people… But that is another post for another day. 

I have to get to work, but I will make sure and let you guys know  how things go on Monday. I am going to try and always write on Mondays and Thursday. At least… Starting next week because I just realized it’s not Thursday… Oh well.