Feeling Like Crap

I am really discouraged right now. For the past month, I have not been feeling good. Whether it be a migraine, cold, concussion, or anxiety. I’m sick of feeling sick. 

Now I have Noble, and I can’t even stay awake long enough to actually play with him. The most he sees of me is when I potty him and feed him. Otherwise, he is just in his kennel. I’m glad my mom is home because she takes him outside and she gets him to burn some energy.

I have taken five days off work so far. I hate it. I think I have hit rock bottoms once again. My boss is getting mad with how much time I’ve been taking off. I HATE IT. 

I hate the constant pain. I hate the inability to work. I hate that I no longer see anybody because I go straight to bed. I hate that there is a chance that I will have an episode at work. I hate that I can’t control my thoughts and prevent an episode. I just hate… everything. Why can’t I just sleep my life away? 

I feel like I’m letting everybody down. I’m not able to do what I’m supposed to do. I can’t sleep for the fact that I have all these thoughts and nightmares. People say just get some sleep, but I’m incapable of sleep. I’m exhausted, but I can’t sleep.

I’m sick and tired of feeling like this. I just want it to stop. I want to make it through a full day of work. I want to be able to have relationships.

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