It is crazy how fast life can change for good or bad. It changed for good so quickly when I applied for college and got a new job… It thought it was too good to be true. Turns out I was right.
I had to make that terrible decision to disqualify Keen from service dog duties. I had to take him back to the shelter today. It was one of the most heart breaking things I have ever had to do. The worst part was that Keen didn’t know what was going on. You can’t reason with a dog. You can’t get them to understand why you are getting rid of him or why you are start crying everytime you look at him.
Thankfully, he didn’t bite the lady we handed him over to. Something seems to have snapped in his brain when he bit our neighbor. I took him to the park this week to get him out and he was lunging and growling at people who got too close to him. Ugh. I am numb.
I seem to have gone through the five stages of greif in the three days after the incident. I knew the moment he bit our neighbor that he was done. So, I got a head start on the grieving process. By the time the day finally came to hand him over, I have already accepted the fact that he had to go.
I hope that no one ever has to go through this. Keen was not just a dog. He was right arm. He was my key to independence. He is not something easily forgotten or replaced. People who know what happened come and say their condolences when they see me. I instantly burst into tears no matter how hard I try not to.
We are looking for a puppy for me to train in time to take with me to college. If we can’t find one in time, I am going to have to postpone my college start date for a semester or more. I was gypped of my fully trained dog and the only way I am going to get what I want is if I do it myself.
I start my new job on Tuesday and I will try and give you guys an update on how it goes. I am also going to resign from my current job on Tuesday. I think the resigning will be harder than the eight hours of painting. It might take quite a fight to follow through with my choice.