My Heart Is Breaking

I keep wishing this is a really bad nightmare. But I’m not waking up. Keen is being sent back to the shelter on Friday. I just want to scream. I have screamed, but it doesn’t help. I never thought I could hurt this much. I went to church without Keen for the first time. I couldn’t stop crying. I still can’t stop crying.

I have a migraine and it is extremely painful now because I can’t stop crying. I cried all day yesterday and all night and I’m still crying. Keen knows he’s done. He doesn’t ask to go to work anymore and he spends all his time in his kennel. He only comes out twice a day to get fed. He knows it and it’s breaking my heart.

The program that I went through is now wanting us to pay for a whole other dog. Or my other option is to train one myself. I am not stable enough to train one myself and I just don’t trust the program. So, I’m screwed. Excuse my language, but this is bullshit. I was so excited to see where my future was headed with the new job and college. 

Now, I think I lost the new job because I didn’t get back to them due to all the shit that’s happened. And I don’t think I would be able to handle college on my own. Much less the ACT in September. I’m so screwed. AHH! Why did he have to do that?! I don’t know if I can handle this.

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