I have been job searching for six months now. I have gone to so many interviews. And I give up. As soon as the people see that I have Keen, it’s a deal breaker and they say they are gonna call me, but never do. I am so fed up with it that I have been going to interviews saying, “I have been on a job hunt for a while now and have been turned away because I have my dog. I don’t want to waste yours or my time, so… Is he a deal breaker?” Some say no and some say yes and I just leave. For those who say no and continue the interview, I never get a call back.
I still have my job at the kennel, but it is getting so stressful that I can’t even handle doing chores without breaking down into an anxious heap. As much as it scares me, I need a change. I need a different job. I need a different routine. I need to do different things that are out of my comfort zone on a regular (ish) basis.
People have been telling me that I just need to keep working at the kennel. That I’m not liking it because I’m doing things that are not in my comfort zone. And that I just need to think about it before I make any rash decisions. That pisses me off. People do not know what I’m feeling. I know the difference between doing something out of my comfort zone, and doing something that is unhealthy for me to continue (mentally and physically).
I have been talking about getting a new job since I got my GED, and I have been searching for one since then as well. There is nothing rash about it. I had no idea that it would be this hard to get hired with a service dog. It is so discouraging to get continuously turned down because I have to work with Keen by my side.
Quite frankly, I feel stuck. I don’t want to quit my current job until I have another to replace it. At the same time, no one is going to hire me, and this job is seriously wearing me down. I find myself back in that depression loop, and just as bad as the first time. Only I don’t think I have anything to keep me going. Keep me looking ahead. My family keeps planning road trips to go this summer, but I can’t go because I can’t handle sitting in a car without having flashbacks.
I feel as if I have been forced into this rut once again. I find myself planning again, and not having anyone to talk me down from the ledge. GRR! I hate this. I have no money, and sooner or later, no job. I want help, but I can’t afford the help. And, honestly, I’m ashamed to be stuck in this rut again. Ashamed to need to ask for help again. I try to tell my mom, but she discredits what I’m feeling with, “Ask God what to do.” Or, “Just pray about it. It will pass.” Comments. I don’t know what to do…