Flashback explanation 

I read my last post and realized I left out a few things. I have PTSD due to a car accident last year. I had appendicitis on April 1st last year (yes my parents did give me a hard time due to it being April fools). Five days after surgery, my two sisters and I went for a quick trip into town. 

My older sister was driving at that time and I was absolutely drained after walking around for so long. On the way back home, I fell asleep. I then wake up to the crunching noise of tires on gravel I open my eyes and we starting to drive off the road.

I look over and see that my older sister has fallen asleep at the wheel. I remembered my drivers Ed teacher telling us to not over correct because it can have a terrible out come. I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid that if I woke her up that she would jerk the wheel causing it to over correct. This thought process only occurred in a few seconds.

I gently said my sisters name and immediately said not to over correct. She woke up and over corrected. The car rolled three times before it came to a stop upside down in a barbed wire fence. I was unconscious for a minute then woke up and immediately climbed out of the car. 

My little sister was screaming and my older sister crying. I somehow kept my cool. I took out my phone to call my dad, but we had no cell service. We ended up crashing on a farmers land and he was nearby so we used his phone to call my dad.

I had forgotten about my stitches until the paramedics arrived and the adrenaline wore off. I was cracking jokes with the firemen while they checked us over. My older sister was still crying her eyes out. A few minutes later my mom arrived and we all climbed in her car and drove home.

I still remember everything. During the crash. Watching us plow into the burrow pit and flipping. Watching the windshield being smashed by a fence post. The worst part was hearing my little sister screaming. 

So now whenever I get in a car, I flashback to that and just can’t handle it. I begin shaking and can’t shake away the thoughts of what could happen if we didn’t stop in time at the stop light? What if that person didn’t see us in time to stop? What if we hit a deer on the road home?

I begin physically shaking as soon as the vehicle begins moving. If I’m behind the wheel, it’s not so bad. We did discover one thing last night though. Keen was never trained how to react when I do have an epsiode. He only knows how to alert me before they happen. It is really frustrating. 

We paid $6,000 for a dog that hasn’t been trained to do the most important thing. To bring me out of an epsiode. We told the trainer that he needs to be trained to lick my eyes when I have an epsiode or when I go into one. He’s a big licker so why didn’t she finish? Oh well, I guess I will have to be the one to traine him to do that.

Anyways, thought I would give you background one the reason I had an epsiode. Sorry if you were confused. Stupid dain bramage! Haha!


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