I have been keeping my depression behind me for a good while lately. That is until today. I haven’t really cried in a while, I’ve thought about it, but never did. But today is just one of those days…
One of those days when you have come to realize what you have done. When you realize that you checked your little brother into high school this week. To a place that you will probably never set foot in again. Where you got straight A’s despite everything that was going on. A place that got taken from you because of your stupid anxiety.
One of those days when you realize that you are basically a high school drop out. You still haven’t taken your HiSET because you have been waiting for accommodations. And you need the accommodations because of your stupid anxiety. Then find out that these past four months of waiting were for nothing because the letter of recommendation never got through to them.
One of those days when you go to apply for a scholarship so that you might be able to go to college. But can’t put down your level of academics because you are just a high school drop out that hasn’t taken their HiSET. All because of your stupid anxiety.
One of those days when you remember that you had to step out of the movie theater to potty your service dog. Then you open the door to go back to the auditorium and your dog won’t let you. You try to calm yourself down because you really want to finish the movie, but to no avail. He won’t let you enter the building, so you text you siblings and tell them that you are going home because of your stupid anxiety.
Just one of those days when you just can’t put on your mask. So, you stay in your room and wait for tomorrow.