I have finally sent my bestie’s (let’s call her Domino) cup out. Along with some lanyards that I made. She is having a really tough time because her boyfriend is gone to boot camp. He is going to be a marine. I too would be constantly worried if someone I knew and loved went away to boot camp.
Anyways, I finally sent the package. Last night was a REALLY hard night for me. I texted her at about eleven saying I couldn’t sleep and she said she didn’t want to sleep. She had a nightmare last night and it was absolutely terrifiying. I tried to take her mind off it by mentioning that I have never been to a rodeo. I think it worked.
The awesome thing is that Domino helped me without knowing it. I was stuck in a rut you see, a year ago yesterday was when I had planned to leave this world. I began thinking about how I am not much better off than I was a year ago… You know the cycle of finding faults that aren’t really there. Well that is why I couldn’t sleep.
I had began to believe that I was not needed. There is no reason for me to stay. I thought that after last summer my life would start to fall into order, but it hasn’t. I have not even heard that I could take the HiSET yet, I still don’t have my drivers license, and I am just a big burden to everyone and anyone who is with me.
Well, Domino reminded me that I am needed. If I can’t find a single thing to live for in this world, I will always have her and Keen. Keen can’t even handle me going across the street without him. I can’t leave him behind. I couldn’t bear to hurt Domino like that either (Not that she can’the handle me going across the street without her. Heehee!).
So I fell asleep and woke up this morning feel good and ready to face the day head on.