I am able to deal with my anxiety everyday because I stick to a routine. The only thing is that if my routine gets changed or interrupted, my anxiety is overwhelming. I actually have my day planned by the minute.
I’m never late or early for work, I come right on time. I go to bed at the same time every night, and wake up at the same time. Eat at the same time, and so on. I also do the things the same way. Right now, my routine is messed up and I am panicking.
Tomorrow I have two grooms and one of them is owned by an old lady who loves about 30-45 minutes away. She has humanize her dog so much that she is going to sit and wait for me to finish her dog like its her kid getting a haircut.
I absolutely hate being watched. Even by family. I dont like feeling like I am on display and have to perform for them. I don’t know how I’m going to handle it. This anxiety topped onto the anxiety of Keen’s vest being indisposed, is going to make it difficult to make it through the day. I can see a few episodes occurring tonight.
I have discovered that once I am in bed, my mind decides to show how it’s feeling. I think that it’s partly because it is when and where I’m most comfortable. I hate the idea of having an episode when I am with anybody. There is nothing anybody can do so why should anyone be there when I have one.
Anyways, I will let you know if I make it or not. I’m not saying that I will die, but being able to get it done is a bit iffy…