Solitude

I got a pretty good paycheck for this past month and was left with a some to spend… I have wishing for a tent for the past few months now and have looked at what you want to look for in a well built tent and so on… I have wagering on a 2 person tent. The reason? Well, I have a bed hog that will not be named (Keen) and he counts as another person. 

I have been wondering why I have been wanting to purchase a tent and use it. I don’t even care if someone comes with me. My family is not the outdoors type of people. They would rather stay in a luxurious hotel with the fine soaps and cotton sheets.

I did get a tent today and some stuff to go with it. It is the perfect size for Keen and I and guess what the name of tent is?? It’s the Coleman hooligan tent. My mother thinks it’s the perfect name. I find that funny.

Anyways, the accessories I got to with it is all the items I will need in order to go on a backpacking trip. My father thinks it would be nice to go on a backpacking trip this summer, and I fully intend on doing it. Even if it means them dropping me off on the side of the road and picking up at the same spot in a week. We have a mile long field on our property and I have been looking for prospective camping spots for my test night on the tent.

I have a lot of scheduled camping trips for this summer already. The Skid’s (second cousin’s family… The ones I stayed with after getting released from the hospital this summer) and my friends want to go on a camping trip. I don’t know how I’m going to get that much time off this summer, but I fully intend on taking part in both of them. 

Back to my main topic… Why have I been wanting to go camping lately? Well, I think it might have something to do with the fact that I am finally moving forward in my life. When I started to fall back into my dark hole, I wanted to be alone, in my bedroom. Now, I want to be alone in the world. Finding the solution to my own problems. Without leaning on someone else to do it or me.

I feel as if I’m finally growing up. Not only in maturity but in confidence in myself to be able to solve my own problems. I used to be so afraid of this, but now that it has come, I feel like someone has unlocked the chains that hold my feet down. I am finally moving forward. Experiencing the world in a positive way.

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